Wednesday, September 21, 2005
PPL I am fine. Really. Honestly... i'm feeling great. Friends..me, god and my Fantasies. Right now, my heart;my feelings are away and separated from girls. SERIOUS! and yes this is coming out from me! i'm just sick and tired of girls hurting me. check out my brief history
Mission Nasastassiasas = FAILED
Mission Rulifilihalizali = FAILED
Mission Shafifrifidahfi = FAILED
It proves that i just don't have it in me anymore! MY MOJO IS GONE!! Either that i'm really taking a backseat in this 'industry' or just plainly confused with my priorities.
>> 10mins later<<
Had to go to the loo. did a lil thinking and ya know what... i think i'm just confused with my priorities.
i went out on a date yesterday and ya know...along the way home, i just got tired of entertaining my date! Though she is a nice girl... but ya know...i just got bored and i really treated her like a friend and nothing more.
Moreover...the cool breeze was making me very very reserved to myself. It was sooo relaxing!! it just rained and the breeze...aah! Heavenly.
Initially my date wanted to sit down at a cafe..somewhere nice to talk. But i didn't want to. I wanted to go to the esplanade which was a long walk from Lido. So we walked. I dont know why but i just don't like to sit down at a cafe and chill. i like to sit down somewhere nice...somewhere close to nature...Somewhere open.
And my idea of chilling is just to sit down and pretty much enjoy the breeze. Probably have some small talk...but yeah.. preferably...i would just like to sit down...cuddle up and enjoy!
While we were walking, i was cracking my brain of what to talk about cos she was getting quiet and i don't really know what things we have in common cept for certain things. i mean we could talk on the phone but suddenly...that time..that situation... just made me not want to talk.
She didn't like walking without talking. i like walking without talking.
I mean me and my friends (shaz and zul) if we go out...we don't really talk much while we are walking. i think we observe more than we talk. Thats the amazing thing.
Anyway... after we got to the esplanade, her bus came and i just walked off to the esplanade and sat by the river. It was heavenly. Honest. Though i had better nights with clearer skies...but the the breeze was just breathtaking! There were couples there and now...honestly..i don't give a hoot! They hugged, they cuddled... they kissed...... i just smiled =) .
i don't care about love as much as i did before. Somehow.. my faith with God kept me company and somehow i felt that everthing is alright no matter what! That i may be alone now... but i know that i'm not the only one! Ppl who are alone will meet up with another lonely person and they won't be lonely anymore! That might just happen to me one day. Anyway i'm not alone. I have friends. Darn good ones too.
Right now... i need a more of someone's presence rather than a conversation. i wanna be hugged.
Come to think of it...it's been quite a while since someone hugged me.
on a personal note... i love it when shaf hugs me on the escalator from behind. Thats the best feeling EVER!
on a joking note... haha! Nora couldn't do that..cos even if i stepped down to a step lower than where she was, i'd still be taller than her.Hahah! So yeah, She can't really hug me like how shaf always hugged me on the escalator.
ok this is just weird. I'm off now. Got a presentation later. So to all out there who reads my blog...
Andelichta!
