Thursday, August 11, 2005
after my recent failure...i have decided for those guys out there who stumble upon my blog, to help them out and know this about girls and don't EVER commit the same mistake that i did. Skipping that crucial step results to a the biggest loss thus far in my life.
If
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you'd l
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ike to know more about my biggest loss... stay tuned.
After that loss and alot of thinking, i have thought up about
5 stepping stones to get closer to a girl.
Stepping stone 1... 0pening up to the girl..
this is where it all begins. You have to start finding your own pair of balls if you EVER wanna meet up with girls. For my case, i used to wait and pray... but waiting will NEVER get you to know anyone at all. God may let your path cross with an amazing girl but if you're never gonna go up to her and get to know her! God creates opportunities...we as humans make the decision in taking up that opportunity!
So guys..start finding your pair of balls!
Stepping stone 2 ... building social value..
Before i continue...i'd like to say that this is the stone that i skipped...and it led to a disastrous ending. Whatever opportunity that i had vanished the moment i skipped this stone and fell...now my heart is drenched in pain and there's no one else to blame but myself.
To illustrate the importance and the difference between building comfort and building social value, i shall give you an example.
imagine you're lost in a strange city and a homeless man off the street you didn't know – someone with no social value to you – came up to you and started giving you directions. He is being really "nice" to you. Still, you probably won't feel in any mood of making an "instant connection" with him, because you're betting that the only reason he's being nice is to ask you for some money.
Likewise, if you have no social value to a girl and you jump directly into comfort with her, she may suspect you have ulterior motives. (sigh...)
So guys, know the difference and don't you EVER commit the same mistake as i did alright?
How you can build social value is by making yourself available if possible, nearly all the time. basically, be a good friend to her. Though she won't share her personal stories to you just yet, just hang in there and just you wait. In the mean time, make her happy sincerely and not because you just wanna get laid. MY THOUGHTS ARE SHARED WITH YOU HERE IS NOT TO GET YOU LAID. THATS NOT MY OBJECTIVE!
Show her that you care for her...that you're there because she means something to you... and you wouldn't want to lose her. And remember, always think of her and never let your emotions get the better of you cos you might just blow the whole thing. Ultimately, be a good friend to her and slowly, with each passing day, you'll gain her trust more and she'll open up more.
Your social value for her and her social value to you would be best if they are at the same level. so this is a 2 pronged appraoched...
Having the same social value is important because... if you were to just opening up to her and build comfort in her...
she'd be most likely to think " he's such a nice cool and attractive guy...and why is he choosing ME out of all my friends? He must have something up his sleeve."
make her Feel that she has EARNED something from you not a feeling that she's cheap that you are just waltzing into her life getting your hands all over her. remember that!
Stepping stone 3 ... ACCEPTING HER
This is a basic fundemental in ANY type of relationship..be it friends or something more. Ladies if you're reading this...please do not purposely make it hard for your suitors! It's already hard enough to understand the real you..what more the you that you're not! Thats double work. But guys... if you would really know whether you're truly in l
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ove with
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her, accept her for who she is no matter what she is. and it's not an easy thing to do ok...it takes time..so ladies..don't expect so much.
Stepping stone 4 ... Isolating her
What i meant by isolating is basically making her feel special! Simple as that! Give her a lil bit more attention to her than all her other friends or your friends but don't ever tell her that you're doing this. Just do it and you can start to see sparks flying about soon. This may take a little time ok so be patient. Don't go blasting all out just for a while and once you've gotten her...you'd treat her different. The key word here is consistency! Shower her with love bit by bit. This would prevent you from actually burning out! But just a word of caution guys... remember to maintain the power shift. Don't give the power staff to her just yet and let her rule over you. Thats the worst thing that can ever happen and you won't have an enjoyable relationship.
thats why stepping stone 2 is the most crucial among all the 5!
Stepping stone 5 ... BUILDING COMFORT.
now...after completing the 4 other steps..you are now ready to build comfort. Please note that only AFTER this step...you're pretty safe to have a lower level intimate contact with her... and also to be able to know her deep within. Don't pester her to tell you her probs...if you build your social value well within her everything will just flow automatically.
There you go guys... with this 5 steps...you have unlocked trust, truth and courage. and all are interdependent. With a synergy core comprising just that... it is sufficient to last a relationship for generations to come.
Giahara and andelighta.
