Thursday, July 28, 2005
First of all...i'd like to make a statement...Seriously...my mum has a personal grudge on my sister. poor sis..
Anyway next up, haiz...having Mc was ok...i woke up late everyday...but i'm still sleepy though..i don't know why but anyway yeah here i am still sleepy. I did my database homework and i feel that i've got loads to do.
I'm Just really really depressed! i'm not looking forward to anything...not even the weekends! I'm really really losing it. I really am.
What caused this? here are the probabilities.
come to think of it..i've got myself to blame. I jumped from a burning ship to another!
Started with
Marsiah...went back to her ex and i jumped to Nastassia....left me...jumped to liking khadijah...figured that i am not gonna make a move...so thought i would forget about it but yeah...stumbled upon rufi...due to highly complex situations..we can't and she doesn't want to be with me.. was left broken hearted.. the day after...met with Shaf...didn't want to fall in love with her...but eventually did...when i did that...she lied to me when i was leaning on her. Can't trust her and i guess i won't be trusting her for quite a while.
I want to feel loved!! i wanna feel loved from a friend!!! i want to feel secured!! i want someone that i can really really lean on!!!!!
Marsiah keeps telling me to stand on my own!! I'm down!! it's hard to stand up .... literally!!!
Argh!
i'm lost..i really am.. I've tried everything ppl could suggest to me cept changing myself. my heart is broken up into pieces so small that it pass thru the eye of a needle... pieces so small that the pieces would sparkle in the sunlight..but you will never get a chance to pick it up and adore it.
i need to sleep... there's a bleak life ahead of me to go through.
i will smile...
