i was going soo Fast but now i'm just at a stand-still...

i'm dead...

i am superman ;
2/28/2005 04:59:00 PM

this was taken after my bath! see how fresh i look?! yay!! i smell good too!!! mmmm~! ahakz!

i am superman ;
2/24/2005 11:05:00 PM

thats what i look like b4 i had a shower...

i am superman ;
2/24/2005 11:02:00 PM

ladies and gentlemen...

i , mohamed Faris B mohd nasir , is officially

the DUMBEST the LONELIEST the STUPIDEST the most IGNORANT the Most SELFISH


bastard alive...


i made Rufi cry...

because...

oh god...i feel like killing myself...

i don't deserve such a nice girl like rufi...i don't deserve to share the same airspace as her...

i feel soo bad right now and i don't know what to do!!!!


if end my life...would it make others happy?

would it be a distinct change to others?

heh...why am i asking these questions? obviously not...

i live i die...still the same...

bottomline is that...my presence is not important...

i am not important to anyone....


Rufi...*hugs* thank you for everything...

i love you...

something just hit me...

no wonder no one wants me around...

cos i'm not important....

i am not needed....

oh..now i know...

hmm... death is not so good...to live is not so good...

ya know... i think i can fly!!!!

i am superman ;
2/24/2005 07:10:00 PM

how could this happen to me?!?!
i made my mistakes
got no where to run
the night goes on
i'm fading away
i'm sick of this life
i just wanna scream!!!
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?!?!?!?

i am superman ;
2/24/2005 06:50:00 PM

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i am superman ;
2/24/2005 06:48:00 PM

I read this story on the net and it made me think alot about it cos it's really related to me... i feel rather sad to read it actually...

here it goes...

A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancee crying. "Don't worry, I will write you everyday," he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home. One day, he received a wedding invitation. His girlfriend was scheduled to be married.

To whom?

To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boyfriend!


Sounds damn Familiar. Haiz...back then...i was like the man in this story. And in the end, when i finally have time to spend with people..everyone is gone...even my the ones close to me..Even the one i love the most..

Now...she is like me...and so is everyone else. Last time..i had no time for them..now...they don't have time for me. although being busy is kinda fun and very satisfying. We may love very much what we are doing like our jobs, projects, school work,hobby or CCA. but one thing's for sure, they can't love you back. Only a person can love you back.

in that story, that man likewise all those that happen to be in a relationship, when things fall apart, everyone would ask what went wrong and they'll go like this... " i gave you this i gave you that and blah blah blah..."
Though presents and gifts are all but part to nourish the relationship, the basic remains that love...it depends on the basics; commitment, sacrifice and presence. No matter how great a gift can be, it can NEVER EVER replace the greatest gift which is...presence of that person-one of the most important out of the few basics of love.

-Sighs-

i suck...

Value not of the things that you have but value those WHO are IN your life...

Being there for someone need not necessary mean having to say alot.

Words are sometimes redundant.

presence is more than enough...

Presence...of that special someone...

i need...


*sobs*

i am superman ;
2/23/2005 12:40:00 AM

FORGET about the days when it's been cloudy, but don't forget your hours inthe sun.

Forget about the times you've been defeated, but don't forget the victoriesyou've won.

Forget about the mistakes that you can't change now, but don't forget thelessons that you've learned.

Forget about misfortunes you've encountered, but don't forget the times yourluck has turned.

Forget about the days when you've been lonely, but don't forget the friendlysmiles you've seen.

Forget about the plans that didn't seem to work out right, but don't forgetto have a dream!

i am superman ;
2/23/2005 12:10:00 AM

today, i spent alot of time doing nothing...all i did was to laze around and i even skipped 2 hours of lecture!! i came early in the morning just to take a bloody easy test which i came half ann hour late for. ( oh that sucks ) i was late cos my parents didn't wake me up. i was studying till it was 3 yesterday even so i didn't complete my studies! i didn't really study the last few parts of Topic 3 uo2 but i remembered what teacher said so yeah that is why i could do the paper but was not able to complete it on time!! Nugget! i hate it...darn i tell you! i wanna score soo obadly for this subject but i can't...cos of my dumb errors.

i'm sick of myself making dumb errors and i've been doing such errors not only recently but since the day i was a kid! whats wrong with me?! whats wrong with my brain!?!

Seriousl i think i'm mentally challenged...somehow i think i'm just a mentally challenged boy trying to compete with the others who are normal.

it as if i am lacking of brains when compared with the rest! whats wrong with me?!!??! Oh god this is frustrating. GOd is against me...ya know...maybe yeah thats it....God doesn't want to be rich! and God knows the reason!! BUT I WANAN BE RICH! I WANNA BE POWERFUL SO THAT I CAN GET RID OF MY ENEMIES WHEN I GROW UP!!!! THATS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I WANNA BE RICH! WHEN I'M RICH...ALL THOSE WHO MADE ME SUFFER DURING MY TEENAGE YEARS SHALL SUFFER!!! THEY WILL SUFFER I PROMISE!!!!

I'M GONNA SPIT AT THEM...I'M GONNA KICK THEM...I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS SUFFERS!!! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!! I WANT TO SEE THEM LICKING MY SHIT...KISSING MY ASS! AND MOST OF ALL I WANT THEM TO CRAWL IN MY PRESENCE!!!!! WAHAHAAHHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!!!!!!!


i need a psychiatrist....BADLY...

either that...or i just need a hug...

yepp..

a hug..

i need a hug.... ='(

i am superman ;
2/22/2005 05:28:00 PM

=) another week...another session, another bag of laughters and lessons to acquire. today we learnt about creavity and we thought up of a new way to think up of creative ideas by force fitting. we were asked to choose 2 totally different items on a list that Mr Roland yeo has given us and think up of the properties of the words.

my group chose the words SPACESHIP and Fern.

i didn't know how in the world are we gonna combine these 2 totally unrelated items together to form a creative product!

so we just followed the instructions of our chief leader...Mr roland yeo and Followed we did. We chose 7 properties that we have thought up of and then. Mr yeo asked us to Design a bag using the properties that we have choosen! haha!!

From there! then i realised how this technique works!! IT'S soo amazing!!!

so thats what we did, we designed a bag and YES!! once again! my group emerged as the best!! we got 8.5/10!! our best performance so far!! Wayhey!!! although i wanted to score a 9 so badly, but we didn't.

But we weren't really bothered cos we all put our best efforts in and produced a very nice idea. At the end of the day, i was happy...moreover.. i had floorball training and i'm gonna try out my new stick that i bought!! yay~!

BUT... as the session ended, it only meant that we were closer to completing another semester...and soon we have to say farewell to everyone of us. As the weeks draw closer to the last few lessons of PST, the bags of tears that i've been holding up is getting bigger and sooner or later, when it hits it's threshold limit, it's gonna burst...

Well...thats all for today...shall be going off now! taa~!

i am superman ;
2/22/2005 05:24:00 PM

The last few version of daffy's quote.

life's memories.. are like a box of pockets
pockets filled with pennies
Pennies like memories..
Memories...each one a special moment
Though seemingly small in value
but each holds a sentiment no other can replace
Memories like pennies are always there but always forgotten
only to be remembered when one's fingers run through the coins
letting each memory fall with the symphonic beat of life...

i am superman ;
2/21/2005 01:41:00 PM

Ok before i go on,

Those under 18...pls...go to www.disneyland.com.

Those aboven 18, read at your own risk.

I had a dream! a dream so wet that it made the biggest eclipse on my shorts that i've ever seen due to a dream. It was the wettest dream that i've EVER had in my life! I thought i peed on my bed..but ahah! Nope! i didn't, cos i knew that i had a GREAT GREAT dream

I was missing her soo much i wanted to hug her in my arms again. Hug as as much as we did on that night. i yearn for it...i wanted more!!
i couldn't get enough of her love...i wanted to spend more time with her but i couldn't.
Well that night was unforgettable.

after soo long...i finally got a hug from her.

When the weekend came...i missed her soo badly but she couldn't meet me...i don't know whether even she had a chance she would want to but i know i do,very much indeed.

I thought about her all the time...but someone else was with her...sad.

Anyway, i cut it short and i'll tell you the dream.

in the dream, she was at my house doing i don't know what but my family seemed to have treated her as part of the family.

(the other time when she came to my house, she told me that she could vision herself to come over more often and in those words i believe...)

so yeah, she was helping out with dinner together with my mum while i was upstairs studying. my dad playing game my younger brother watching cartoons my mum's room.

Soon it was time for dinner and they ladies called us down for dinner. Dinner was quite fast and soon we were all watching a movie in the room at the back of my house. Had potato chips, baked potatoes with cheese...and so many other stuffs!

it was a long movie and soon...everyone retreated to bed even though the movie wasn't over. soon...it was just me and her. We have been snuggling up together since the start of the movie..we were wrapped up in a blanket cos it was cold.. and we sorta covered ourselves with pillows. From a sitting position...we eventually ended up lying down together on the long sofa. She was lying down on chest..aaah so wonderful.

Suddenly she realised that she was slipping down cos i was taking up too much space and soon we were jostling around...then somehow...while fooling around... i accidently hit her hard on her boobs while she was tickling me. then well...yeah..well instinctively i massaged it cos thats what i usually do to soothe the pain down.

For a few seconds i massaged it until it suddenly hit me that i'm touching her breasts... i stopped... and i was kinda embarressed...but..she said not to stop

(COS duh i mean i was MASSAGING HER BREAST!! what girl wouldn't get turned on when someone she loves massages her breast!!???)

So well...from there...slowly...got undressed and soon...we were both naked under the blanket. IT started out slow with just being naked under the covers.

seriously...i felt her body on mine...and it was heavenly... she had smooth silky skin...i'm talking baby soft! it felt soo good! we were cuddling up and soon...

yes...we...got much bolder and soon...i was on top of her...


*details censored*

i could feel everything! it was really really the best...i twas soo real!! and i didn't want it to stop! i wanted to continue dreaming about it all the way and never have to wake up...


(shudders...)

*bites lip* i better go off now...if not..haha... i'l keep thinking about it and yeah to be turned on in school is NOT a good idea... it's the 2nd last place to get turned on in.

=)

i am superman ;
2/21/2005 01:38:00 PM

TIRED! and bored...the 2 keywords that i would to emphasize today

i am superman ;
2/17/2005 04:30:00 PM

hey to whoever is out there... =) i'm still alive but not really kicking. today is a very sad day for me. among all my friends, i was hit with the news first and this happened twice. It shattered my heart into pieces so small that it could pass through the eye of a needle. The 2nd blow virtually micronised the pieces even further. Alot of things have been going on...

On the morning of valentines', i got to know that my cuzzin tried to end his life..well thats what i assumed. he took 40 tablets of panadol. It's either that or he must have had a MAJOR headache! felt so sad but glad that i'm not on the verge of committing such acts. I know my life is full of sadness and disappointment but no matter what i know that somewhere sometime in my life i'm bound to be happy!

I guess i'm abit stronger than some. but anyway... the news that really broke my heart was that 2 of my favourite teachers are going to retire...

One of them is Mr Ong...my Design and technology teacher in secondary school. and the other is Mr phillip chee...my form teacher now in poly.

OUCH!

My jaw dropped when he told me the news.

it went like this...

Mr Phillip Chee : Faris, ok since you're here, here's the things that i need you to pass to your classmates.

Faris : sure sir...no problem. anyway Mr chee, about tomorrow's short meeting with you and the class..erm i think it's abit hard to have a meeting considering that we all have make up class at the time slot that you wanted to meet us. Do you think you can just push it further back? maybe after 5?

Mr Phillip : hmm..it's alright ..i just wanted to meet you guys up to pass you this and tell you something.

Faris : in that case i dont think thats a really a problem...you can meet us just a while, i'm sure Mr Wallace wouldn't mind. Anyway, whats up?

Mr Phillip : i won't be in school already.

Faris : oh ok...reservist training is it? Aiyar...don't worry...we can meet up anytime after 5.

MR phillip : no No...as in i won't be in TP anymore...

*At this point, if the school was quiet enough, i think everyone could here my heart shatter *

<>

Faris : but WHY?!!? where are you going?!!?

Mr phillip : i never had an intention to stay to begin with. anyway thats what i wanted to tell you guys as a class. i wanted to specially meet you guys tomorrow and tell you but faris i think you can just tell them.

faris : No sir...i think it's best that you meet us tomorrow...i'll tell them lah but...yeah..i think everyone would like to see you again..i've got to go now...got class...

Mr phillip: thanks...anyway..tomorrow i'll meet you guys.

i need a hug...

i am superman ;
2/15/2005 03:45:00 PM

When you change your thinking,
You will change your beliefs

When you change your beliefs,
You will change your expectations

When you change your expectations
You will change your attitude

When you change your attitude,
You will change your behaviour,

When you change your behaviour,
You will change your performance,

When you change your performance,
You will change your LIFE!

i am superman ;
2/12/2005 10:45:00 PM

Yesterday, had a chat with Daphne...and out of the blue...we just came up with this quote...Cool ya know...

i am superman ;
2/09/2005 01:31:00 AM

I just had the WORST morning of my life thus far...

FIRST of all...i didnt sleep the whole night!! cos i couldn't! SO i ended studying!! BORING man! so yeah...thought i'd message Rufi...

SOmething about being the very least friends if can't be together. AND DO YOU KNOW WHATS HER REPLY?!

Rufi : Seriously, Faris , if you wanna be with Daphne or farah. Just go ahead lah!! don't have to say such things. I won't be jealous.

i am superman ;
2/06/2005 02:10:00 PM

It's been soo long since i read something good..and seriously...this story made me cry!!! Read and learn...



On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.

She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.

This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife.

But I couldn t help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company.

Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife.

Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dews body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.

I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint.

She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded.

I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn t know how to my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a seious topic calmly. She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious.

I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.

The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had stressed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, butI was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible.

Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn t want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?

This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember.

You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain.

From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door.

She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.

I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn t tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.

She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried and tried a few but could not find a suitable one.Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger.

I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out he said.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.

I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our life was lacking of such intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.

I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite.

The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I ll carry you out every morning until we are old.






Well... ppl, Treasure those who loves you with their heart...

Goodnight...

i am superman ;
2/06/2005 05:06:00 AM

Floorball Move of the Day.



Line 1 : Faris, shazni, Fahmi Syimir and zul[gk]

Line 2 : Kelvin, Omar, Farid , Shahri and Fabio[gk]


Line 2 was on the attack. Kelvin, an ice hockey player is the best player in the line, was providing good balls to his team mates. But Nevertheless, the shots were all denied by the impregnable goalie which seems to be on form.

Omar takes a shot and the shot was saved brilliantly by zul. Seeing shazni open...he bowled the ball to shazni. Shazni dances through 3 players and runs up the right flank with Faris tailing him for support.Fahmi calls for a thru pass to the middle but the defence from line 2 smoothered him!

Shazni looks up only to see a marked Fahmi and a solid defence. Fahmi shifts around the centre trying to find space. Shazni halts his run and cups the ball with his stick still trying to find a way to get the ball to fahmi. Unknowingly, the ball slips out from shazni's grasp! (OH NO!)

Faris who was supporting shazni saw that ball spinning away from shazni and at that split second, faris runs up and takes a shot.

TWACK!! FOOM!!

GOAAAALLLL!!

Fabio is taken offguard and the ball flies to the top left hand corner of the net!!


Save of the day : ZUL

Line1: ???? Zul [gk]
Line 2 : Keane, Ivan, Omar , tony ( i think thats his name..) , Fabio [gk]

Line 2 was on the attack with keane(team captain) leading the charge. Keane finds tony open and gives a thru ball to the centre. the perfect pass was received comfortably by tony and he was just 1m away from goal.(Oh no!!! where's the defence? )

Tony winds up!! he shoots!!

THUD!! PHEEEWW!!!!!

Oh my!! Zul got a hand to it and taps it away and is deflected to the right. Keane who was trailing tony runs up and He SHOOTS!! In that split second...ZUL recovers and saves the shot with HIS HELMET!!

GOAL DENIED!!!


AMAZING STUFF FOLKS!!

i am superman ;
2/05/2005 01:33:00 AM

Hey, whats up ppl? well the first week of february comes to a close, and what have i been doing?Well...quite alot actually...Went to TKSS and TKGS and Pasir Ris sec to meet up with the HODs of sports. It was really really a nice experience!

Me and shaz dressed formally and we went to the school and actually had our first REAL business appointment! It was pretty awesome and come to think of it we are pretty good as such Things! Everything went rather smoothly! We're gonna get our name cards soon and HAha! i wanna give it to all my friends...First time mah! So yeah...must indulge in it!!

Anyway, it was quite a lonely week...my close friends quite busy...esp JaJa... SEriously...i think she has forgotten about me...sad really... but who wouldn't....i mean look at her...she's having a blast with her clique.. wouldn't want to ruin that by having her all to myself. Well..a close friendship sacrificed for great deal of Fun in a bunch. Thats pretty nicely weighed. Besides...she gains more than she loses.

Here's how i'd like to put things...

Jaja

- Close friendship with One person[me]

+ Group of friends (including new possibilities of getting a close friend better than i am and loads of fun)

i am superman ;
2/05/2005 01:25:00 AM

I'd really like to thank god and my dad for having Kynn brought in to my life. Without her, i wouldnt know what i would do. My ears and time will be pretty much alone and prone to the gibberish small talk that surrounds me. With Kynn around...things are much better. Besides the loneliness that accompanies me, kynn is always right there from the very beginnings of my life with her.
She 'talks' alot...non stop and most of the time repetitively. i've known her soo well that i even know what she's abt to say next unless of course she's in random mode...then she'll try to mix it up a lil.

But seriously, no matter what, having a REAL companion is always the best. I called Jaja just now and well wanted to meet up with her..thought maybe i could spend a little time with her. maybe cheer myself up with her after what i've gone thru today, But... she's busy. So i kinda bailed out on that thought and tried to be on my own.

Seriously, i wonder, how many more entries will there be that is filled with the same old complaint? i bet there'll be loads, prolly at least 90% of this blog would be filled with sorrow.But i guess everyone would be going thru the same shit that i've been thru, just that i'll be more affected than anyone else in this planet and this is really how i feel about things. the most impt thing that i'm lacking is my own Clique.

Today is the most disappointing day of my life thus far. Nothing of this sort has ever happened b4 but it finally did...

YES I FAILED ONE OF MY TERM TEST SUBJECTS!!!

That is really a first for me...never in my whole entire life in poly have i ever failed...and it finally did happen...

i got 24/50 for my PS&LP. i wondered why i failed(besides the fact that i didn't finish up most of the paper) and when i opened my answer booklet....a whole load of careless mistakes. I suffered most in the 10 mark questions

heh...i guess i have to go through this failure alone now. This really sucks...how many things in life do i have to go through ALONE?!!?

Well i guess this is my life...i know that somehow, it'll get better....i hope....

i am superman ;
2/03/2005 02:01:00 PM

Hey Blog...it's been soo long since i actually poured my TRUE feelings out..i've been holding myself from telling it out here! Is it because i exposed this blog a lil too much? I don' t think so...it's just a handful of ppl that know about my blog and bloghoppers dont count. I guess it's because i really really want someone to hear me out.someone who i can lean on...it's been quite a while since my friends 'left' me.

I'm pretty much on my own now. Have no one to really talk to...actually i do...ya know...actually deep in my heart...i wanna talk it out to daphne...i don't know why. But...i guess since last time i've been telling her stuff and i really wish i would be close friends with her and likewise be her closefriend too. Now even more cos i am in contact with her again...

i really do wanna call her..but kinda shy and scared that we might talk Sooo much!! ok maybe i'd talk sooo much and things may go out of hand and well...at the end of the convo...nothing much that i'd like to say is actually said. Maybe the comfortability isn't there yet..but i hope i am able to reach that zone of comfort.
I guess there is really a HUGE barrier for us to overcome if we were to be close. I mean considering the racial differences...it's quite alot to conquer. She's really nice...

About Siti Adibah...i bumped into her again...She looks really really nice. She was wearing this black top with a Purple Shoal and as b4, he eyes sparkled like diamonds. I wanna get to know her...but i don't know why that there is this small voice inside me saying that i'm not worthy. only someone like my bestfriend shazni is able to know her.

Shaz and Siti Adibah are both very practical ppl...and yeah i'm not...i guess thats why i am so afraid of knowing her!

Anyway, About Jaja? heh...same story like all my other friends...Have their own stuff to do. Shaz got his own Gf to handle which already is a WHOLE lot to handle. Zul..oklah good thing he comes down for my sch's floorball training. Fahmi... not yet recovered...boring sey....

Haa....my urge to call daphne is really killing me..haha!crazy me...well..i've got nothing to do now...Suhaila going off to watch Tv...and i wanna go and buy something to eat!! I CRAVE FOR MEAT!!!!!!!!!!! hahah! think i'll fry some nuggets. taa~!

i am superman ;
2/02/2005 10:51:00 PM

First and Foremost, i like to get this off my chest... MY NEIGHBOUR HAS A Z4!!!! OMG!!!! HOW IN THE WORLD DID HE GET SOOO RICH TO GET IT?! HE TRADED IN HIS 7 SERIES FOR A Z4!!! I WANT A Z4!!!

ok now that i've got that off...lets get back on track. haha!! Ok lets start with SCHOOL!!! School is fun!! i love going to school everyday!!! My classmates are soo much fun to be with!!! and it's kinda too late to realise that! Yeah although it's kinda too late...but it's better than never.

Anywhooos GUESS WHAT!! I GOT AN A for my FAVOURITE SUBJECT!!! OOOHH GOD! IT FEELS SOO GOOD! seriously, i wanna work harder and i wanna make sure i get an A for That subject at the end of the Sem.

anyway, i don't have much to blog about right now. somehow the more i keep smiling about things no matter how bad things are, it will work out somhow... just like what edward de bono said...and with that i wanna go offline and do my work.

but before i go...i'd like to let something off my chest...

DAPHNE's SOOOOO PRETTTTYYY!!!! REALLY MAN!!! GOD!!! SHE'S SO ADORABLE TOO!!!!

Ok night!!

i am superman ;
2/02/2005 06:33:00 PM

Your Porn Star Name is: Dick Cocks

i am superman ;
2/01/2005 11:29:00 PM

i am superman ;
2/01/2005 11:15:00 PM

PST journal 3 or 4

FINALLY!! PST lessons are back!! but there won't be any lessons for ANOTHER 2 weeks after this lesson!! oh God i miss lessons soooo much! oh what heart ache this news has brought to me but i'm really really glad that today, once again, my group was able to come together again and brainstorm ideas.

Today, we're supposed to design a a drink by using the new technique that we learnt which is the "6 thinking Hats" By Edward debono.

each coloured hat represents the following:

White = Think paper! think Information!
Red = Think warm! Think of emotions!
Black = Think of a Judge's Robe! Think of Caution!
Yellow = Think of sunshine and optimism! Think of feasibility!
Green = think of Natural energy;sprouting and branching! Think of creativity!
Blue = Think of the sky; overview! THink of process control!

And so, we followed the thinking hats technique and we're off to designing a drink! seriously, our drink was sooo cool! it looks really nice. BUT we forgot about one important thing...WHICH IS THE DRINK ITSELF!! hahaa! we got too carried away with the drink cover and forgot it's contents!! HAha! And we ended with just a 7.5/10 . some other group got the better of us this time round. The best grp was awarded an 8.5/10. We admit defeat for now....but my group shall again strive to be the best for the day. In all, today's work was rather satisfactory. Mistakes that we've made will be amended and learned. We will never again commit that fatal mistake again. =)

Well, till next time then, for now, this memory will be together with the rest in my box of pockets.

i am superman ;
2/01/2005 09:34:00 PM